Grumpy Undertaker
by S.Oyabun
Summary: It's kind of a unique job for a grumpy and handsome guy like Shizuo. But he loves his job. His brother did a hundred ways to make Shizuo quit his job but to be failed. What the hell is gonna happen with Shizuo when he found out that he was and now talking to a dead body?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Ryohgo Narita**

**Pairing: Shizuo Heiwajima ann Izaya Orihara**

**M-Rated**

**Grumpy Undertaker**

Dead bodies.

Those are things that already become his best friend since forever. When there wasn't anybody out there who wanted to listen to his sad or happy stories, there he spent his whole boring day talked to any corpse that entered his little house. Well, not many people said it as a house, more like a shack. But no one could ask him to leave that shack. His brother tried hundred ways to make him quit this job but always failed at the end. It is true that the pay not as good as any other job and it is not an easy job either. But he loved it. His brother once said that being an undertaker must be surpassed his fetish on smoking. Well, that could be true either.

Sighing, the man with pale-blond-hair fixed his blue glasses and walked toward a unique coffin which sculptured nicely. "Why people spend a lot of money on this kind of thing? What a waste," said the man while touching the coffin carefully. "This is way more expensive than I expected. It is worthier than my poor pay. Maybe I should bring this to a coffin seller. Who knows I could live happily after I got the money."

BRUK

He jumped when a sudden noise came from the back of his house. He furrowed his brows when noiseless circle his house. "Who's there?" he asked and peeked outside. He stared at a bunch of old coffin that he arranged neatly before, but now those coffins are dropped off to and fro. Seems like someone run into them. "Show yourself! Don't make me do it, stranger!" he shouted and went outside. Anger spread on his face when he saw someone broke his precious hoe. "What the fuck did you do with my thing, flea?" He gritted his teeth when the other guy didn't answer his fucking question. How could he done his job without that fucking hoe. But he suddenly realized something, that guy's left foot … was bleeding. He came closer and asked, "Hey, you ok? Here, let me help you." He reached out his right hand to help that guy.

"Thanks," that guy muttered under his breath. He smiled sheepishly and cringed when he tried to stand. "It's hurt I can't help it," he laughed and sat his self on the ground again. "Sorry, I didn't mean it, really. I was kinda curious with this shack and—"

"It's a house to you." He cut him off and corrected that guy's previous words.

"No! It's totally a shack! How can you call it a house? House is not a proper word for this thing." That guy eyed his shack—house—carefully and clapped his hands. "Ah! It's some kind of a cote!"

TWITCH

"I'm not an animal you damn flea!" he shouted and hold his fist right in front of that guy face. "Go away; you just waste my time here. You mom probably is looking for you. That's the front door. You can leave with a good attitude or I'll kick your ass out of here!" He tried to hold his anger. If he weren't injured, He would punch that guy on the face.

"Izaya."

"Huh?"

"It's my name so you can call me nicely not with that stupid nick name you just made for me a while ago. What's with flea? That's not my name you moron." Izaya tried to stand again to be failed. He puffed his cheeks and stared at that blond.

"Well, it's Shizuo to you and I don't care about your stupid name or what, I just want you to leave this house that you called a cote before." Shizuo stepped inside but a hand on his hand stopped his act. "What now?"

Izaya found it amusing to annoyed Shizuo. "Shizu_-chan_, I'm hungry~" he smiled cutely at Shizuo who couldn't held back his anger anymore. He expected a punch or maybe a kick on his body but felt nothing touch him except, he still holding shizuo's hand. He peeked at Shizuo and tried to guess what kind of expression that Shizuo put on his face. Izaya knew than Shizuo looked handsome as a guy who lived in this kind of thing. "What?" Izaya asked when Shizuo only stared at him for a minute.

"That's my line, Flea. Why are holding my hand? And what's with that stupid Shizu_-chan_ that just came out from your mouth? I don't know you and vice versa." Shizuo yanked his hand from Izaya grasp and went inside. "Just go away, I wanna sleep peacefully. And for your information, I don't have any food right now."

"Look who's talking! But I'm hungry! Feed me!"

"What are you? A five-year-old kid? Just buy on your way home! Beside, that's not my fucking business if you're hungry. I'm not your mother." Shizuo then closed his door harshly. He tried to close his eyes and forgets about anything that just happened. What a hard day, he thought. When he started sink in his sleep, a loud bang came from his precious door.

"AT LEAST TREAT MY WOUND YOU MORON! I CAN'T WALK!"

Shizuo hissed and scrambled his hair harshly. He walked to that door and opened it with a loud bang. "Fine, I'll treat your wound. But promise me that you'll leave me alone, oke?" Izaya only tilted his head cutely and walked pass Shizuo. "Sit there and wait for a second. Don't touch anything."

Izaya took back his hands when he wanted to touch a coffin with beautiful sculpture. He eyed the whole room and found nothing than coffins and a lot of gallon which filled with salt, he guessed. Izaya eyed that coffin again and smiled sadly. He tried to open it and found it empty. "No dead body," he said as he closed it again. He stood then sat himself on the top of that coffin. He stood up quickly when spotted Shizuo at the end of the room with a box of first aid kit. Shizuo put it in front of the sofa and opened it. He took a bottle of alcohol, a roll of bandage. "Put it here." Shizuo said as he poured the alcohol on cotton plant.

"Put what?"

"Your brain then I can crush it into pieces. Of course your wounded foot you moron. Hurry, I have to re-arrange the coffin because your stupid act before."

"Stop act like an undertaker!"

"I am an undertaker!"

"Heeee? Really? I thought you wer—ish! That's hurt Shizu_-chan_!"

"Call me Shizu_-chan_ once again and I'll cut your foot, got it?" Izaya nodded his head and looked at the way Shizuo treated his wound. He did it in a soft way, Izaya stared at Shizuo and smiled again. "I'm hungry. You have to give me food. I lost a lot of blood and I need a recharge."

"It wasn't like you dropped from a cliff. It's just a small wound. Don't be a spoiled brat." Shizuo continued to treat Izaya nicely. He cleaned the wound with alcohol. After he thought it was enough, he then bandaged it nicely. "Done and now go."

"Hungry~~"

SMACK

Izaya hissed and rubbed his head where Shizuo just smacked him. "It's hurt and I'm hungry, I can't help it." He whined and pouted. Shizuo sighed and walked away from Izaya. A minute later he bought a plate of grapes and four pieces of bread. He then put it in front of Izaya. Izaya blinked his eyes and stared at Shizuo. "Can I eat them, Shizu_-chan_?"

"Yes, eat it up and leave me alone."

After a few minutes, "Thanks for the food!" Izaya felt so full and looked so happy. Well no wonder. When people hungry and got food to fill their tummy, that's the happiest thing ever. Izaya then smiled at Shizuo who eyed him suspiciously. "What do you want me to do after you gave me those food?"

"Die."

"Really? You want me to die? Only that?"

Shizuo stared strangely at Izaya and then nodded his head. "Jump from the cliff and die for me. That's a punishment for a person who robbed my food supply."

"Then I already granted your wish, Shizu_-chan_."

"What do you mean Flea?"

"You wanted me to die, right? Then I already did it."

"You mean you're dead?"

"Yes, that's right. That's my coffin, the one behind your back. They bought it for me a day ago. No, I'm not kidding now. I am seriously a dead body."

Shizuo opened his mouth with a shocked expression, "WHATTTT?"

**To Be Continued**

Helloooooo! Should I continue this story? Was it good or bad? Should I delete this story? Please tell me! Mind to tell me the correct grammar, oke? I'm not good at that thing, sorry (-/\-) btw you can follow me on twitter at KyugeeZ and we can be friend closer haha


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Ryohgo Narita**

**Pairing: Shizuo Heiwajima and Izaya Orihara**

**M-Rated**

**Grumpy Undertaker**

A lot of students were queuing in front of a food stall. But, there is a boy who only stared at that scene uninterested. He sighed heavily and decided to leave that boring place—a Canteen. He scratched his head harshly when his dark eyes met a pair of pink eyes which stared at him strangely. "Damn, this teacher again," he murmured when that Teacher walked toward him. He tried to avoid that stupid teacher who always bullies him like he doesn't have any other works. Suddenly, he felt a pair of arms on his shoulder. He tensed and shockingly stared at that teacher with weird expression.

"Hi, Chibiya. I did not see you in my class yesterday? What happened? Were you sick?" That teacher with blonde hair smirked at him as he tried to eye a boy in front of him closely. He felt a hand tried to push his hand away from that shoulder harshly. He dropped his smirk and smile at that boy. He already knew that something had happened to this little boy. He knows this boy so well. Well, what kind of stupid thing that you expected from a … boyfriend anyway. Of course he knows everything about him. Yes, it's kind of a teacher-student relationship but who cares? They both love each other and no one can change that.

And suddenly the bell ring.

"Well, _Sensei_ it's seems like I do not have time for you now since the bell just rang and both of us have to be at class in a minute. So please excuse me," he then walked pass that teacher. Their shoulder touched. Before he completely left that teacher, he looked back and smirked, "No worry need and as you know … my name is Hibiya not Chibiya. What a lame name that you made for me. So, see you later … Delic-_sensei_." Hibiya smiled cutely at Delic when he noticed that confused expression.

"Well, wanna walk side by side? Since, you know … we have the same class this day." Delic eyed Hibiya closely before he sighed in relieved when Hibiya nodded at him. "Well, let's go, then."

.

.

Hibiya stared at the ceiling absent-mindedly and looked down at his book. Blank. He did not write down anything on it. Yesterday was his brother funeral and he missed him so much. His brother fooled him by saying that he was ok and nothing bad gonna happened to him. But … what now? He left him … alone … in that fucking big house that he himself doesn't know how to take care of it. He was mad at his brother, actually not 'was' but he's still mad at him. How could he betray his feeling? He trusts his brother the most but … he lied to him. To be honest, he is kinda afraid that someone will betray him again. What about Delic? Can he put his trust on Delic?

He sighed and looked out the window with a sad face. Looks like The Sky is mocking at him with its beautiful color. Why The Sky looks so blue? He bit his lip … doesn't know what to do for the rest of his life. He needs to leave this class now! He needs to clear his mind! He fucking needs a day off! He wrinkled his nose when he looked at Delic who was writing on that whiteboard. He got an idea. "_Sensei_!" his friends eyed him strangely when he shouted. "Please give me a detention!"

WHAT?

What kind of student who asked a detention like that?

Delic sighed and put off his glasses. "I haven't finished this writing so put your ass back to your chair and finished the task that I just gave to you, understand?"

"No. I don't understand and this class so boring. I don't know maybe you should quit being a teacher. So boring and I am not interested in your lesson at all so can I go now?" Hibiya smirked. Looks like Delic's brows twitched. "Oh my God! This is so boring I can't take this anym—"

"Get out off my class you brat!"

Hibiya cheered happily inside his heart. He put a stoic face when he walked pass Delic. "You're lucky that I did not drop you out from this school," he said when Hibiya hold the door knob.

"I am sorry but you're just a teacher not a principal. But if you intended to do that kind of thing, it would be my pleasure. I take my leave now, Sir."

Delic rolled his eyes listened to Hibiya's prince wanna be words. He is a polite person when it comes to talking. No wonder Delic always amazed with that kid, but just now … he suddenly became a brat and Delic doesn't know what kind of stupid thing that Hibiya's gonna do this time. Now, there isn't Chibiya anymore in this class and that's mean he lost his precious baby boy. "Let's continue to our lesson and … I don't accept any stupid permission."

.

.

.

Izaya stared at Shizuo with annoyed—he puffed his cheeks. His black orbs eyed Shizuo closely until he realized something; Shizuo doesn't pay any attention to him at all. "Well, I hate silent treatment, Shizu-_chan_! You should be more polite to your guest." Izaya stood up and walked toward Shizuo while stomped his feet with every single step he made. No reaction. Izaya gritted his teeth angrily and smacked Shizuo on the head.

"What was that for? It was hurt dammit!" Shizuo slammed his stuff on the table below him with angry face. He walked to the front door and opened it harshly. "Go, you are not my guest. I don't accept any guest today. You just ruined my day, flea. Now, go!" he shouted angrily, felt like he wants to slap Izaya on the face right there right now. He bit his lip when he looked at Izaya who was hanging his head down. "For your information, I do not accept any liar in this little house."

"I was not lying! It was true that I'm already dead. Look, you can see my photo in front of that coffin. See yourself." Izaya sat and crossed his hand in front of his chest. He looked at Shizuo who was looking for that photo and smiled when Shizuo found it. "See~ I told you!" Izaya ran toward Shizuo and smiled widely at the blonde man. He tried to look at that photo too. But … his smile disappeared when he realized it was not his photo. "I-It is Hi-Hibiya."

"Hibiya? Who is Hibiya? Well, of course it's not you in this photo. You have black orbs, and the one in this photo that you called Hibiya have … golden? What a beautiful color."

"Well I'm sorry that I don't have golden eyes like that kid, you stupid protozoan!" Izaya thought for a while and looked at him, "Why they put Hibiya's photo instead me? I wonder~" He took that photo and put it back. "Hibiya is my little brother. He's eight years younger than me. He's a brat and so stubborn. He was obsessed in being a prince like pleasee~~"

Shizuo nodded his head. "I have a little brother too, the name is Delic. Actually, he's my twin brother. He's working in a school as a teacher. Look at that black coffin on the corner," Izaya looked at that coffin strangely and Shizuo continues his sentences, "He's the one who gave it to me. He said that he's afraid that he can't give me that stupid thing later so he gave me this early." Shizuo sat on that coffin and ran his left hand on the top of it. He smiled when he remember the day when he found that coffin in front of his little house with a letter on it.

**Live well, brother. Please call me if you're dying.**

"What kind of brother who do that kind of thing?" Izaya asked when Shizuo lifted his brows. Izaya walked slowly to the front door and peeked outside. "It's raining. So cold here." He then looked at Shizuo from the corner of his eyes. "What? You think a dead man can't feel cold? I'm not a vampire you know!" When he tried to close the door, Shizuo stopped him. Izaya looked at him … felt confused. "Wha—"

"He's dying."

"What?"

"He's dying and he fooled his self. He said that he's gonna be ok but I know it will never happen, not to him." Shizuo looked at him closely. He doesn't know what to do. He once asked him to the hospital but he did not want to. Shizuo did not know what will happened to both of them later when he found out that he's gonna be alone someday. Izaya could see tears were rolling down from Shizuo's hazel eyes.

"This sad story similar to someone's story, thought Izaya sadly.

"Get out!" suddenly Shizuo shouts.

"I will but I have a request before I leave you." Shizuo wiped his eyes and looked Izaya in the eyes. Izaya put a small smile on his cute lips. "Give this thing to Hibiya, please. I bought it two days before I left this amazing world. It was his birthday but I couldn't keep my promise. He once asked me when he still in Elementary school that he really wanted this kind of thing." Izaya then gives that thing to Shizuo carefully. He's holding Shizuo hands with both of his hands. "Pleasee~~"

Shizuo sighed and put that ring in his pocket. Yes, it's a ring and Shizuo admit it that it's a beautiful ring. "Fine, but you come with me since I don't know where the fuck your house is."

"Bu—"

"What? You wanted to say that you're gonna disappear if you left this little house? It's not a stupid fairytale, flea. Now come with me, hurry!" Izaya only sticks his tongue when Shizuo left his house. "You're coming or not?"

"Shut up protozoan! I'm right behind you!"

**-VargaS. Oyabun-**

Hibiya threw his body on a big sofa and he sighed tiredly. He eyed his big house, its looks so empty without his stupid brother.

'TING TONG'

He cursed and stoop up, someone's gonna bug him again this time. He doesn't need Delic right now. "Arg, Delic just go ho—who are you?" Hibiya eyed the man in front of him suspiciously. He wants to close his door but the man stopped him. "Go away peasant, I don't know you."

"Whaaaat? He just called me peasant? This brat! He's totally a brat," he thought angrily when Hibiya only stared at him uninterested. "Can I come in?"

"A big no, so go away."

"This kid!" Shizuo thought and tried to smile nicely at him. "Well, you're gonna regret it later. I have something for you, Kid." Shizuo grinned at him when Hibiya furrowed his brows. He put his hand on the door's side, so Hibiya couldn't close the door and broke Shizuo's hands. "Want to see it?" Shizuo asked and pushed the door so he can get in.

"No. I am not interested in your stupid reason so please leave me alone, stranger."

"I can't do this, flea. I'm gonna punch him on the face. Let's just leave him alone!" Shizuo looked beside him where Izaya was standing and said at him angrily.

Hibiya's forehead twitched when he looked at Shizuo who shouted to his side but found no one there. "Who were you talking to?" He asked Shizuo and eyed him suspiciously.

"I was talking to Iza—"

"Shut up, Shizu-_chan_. You're the only who can hear my voice and see my body," Izaya put his hand over Shizuo's mouth—stopped him from talking to far. "You can't say my name in front of him! He will be sad." Izaya eyed Shizuo closely when Shizuo grinned at him and lifted his left brow.

"Oh really? Let me try something." Hibiya looked at Shizuo—confused when Shizuo broke into his house harshly. "Look, your precious brother asked me to give you this thing."

"Iza-_nii_?"

Shizuo nodded and groped his pocket and took out the ring that Izaya just gave him before. He wants to give that thing to Hibiya, but a voice from behind him stopped him from doing so.

"_N-Nii-san_? What are you doing here?"

Shizuo and Izaya looked back and Shizuo found Delic with a confused face. "Well, seems like I should the one who ask you that thing? What are you doing here, Delic? You have to be at school at this hour, right?"

Delic scratched his head awkwardly and smiled at Hibiya who looked at him confused. "Well. Hibiya this is my twin brother, Shizuo. _Nii-san_, um sorry if I did not tell you this before, but he's my student and … my boyfriend too. He's Hibiya."

"Shizu-_chan_? What did he say? His boyfriend? Oh my God! Hibiya are you gay?" Izaya tried to catch Hibiya's attention but Shizuo shoved Izaya and looked at him.

"Look! You are not the only one who confused here Izaya. But if what Delic just said it's the truth, then my brother is dating a ghost's brother!"

"What? Like I want my brother dated a brother of stupid protozoan like you!"

"Izaya take that back or I will smack your head!"

"Well, look who's talki—"

"Sorry, but did you just say Izaya? Who were you talking too exactly? I don't see anyone here except the three of us," said Hibiya when Shizuo only stared at him blankly.

"Stupid protozoan," Izaya smirked and walked away from that place.

Shizuo stared at him and mouthed, "Help me you flea."

"Not my business,' and with that, Izaya leave that place with a grin plastered in his face.

**To Be Continued**

I am really sorry for my bad writing. Please forgive me (-/\-)


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